The Reluctant Bride by Helen Wilder

Author:Helen Wilder [Wilder, Helen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-09-08T16:00:00+00:00

TWELVE

Ashley

I’m sitting at my desk, in my office, on my first day back at work as a married woman reading through the seventy plus emails I had waiting for me. My colleagues have all stopped by to wish me congratulations or ask about the honeymoon. It was great, my husband had sex with me and it must have been so bad he blocked it out. Since when is anyone so interested in my private life? The most I’ve previously gotten is a good morning or a small conversation in the kitchen while grabbing coffee and of course the obligatory happy birthday when the email goes out advising the whole company of the special day. I just want to get on with my job and not be constantly reminded of the disaster my “marriage” is.

That night could have been an even bigger disaster because we didn’t use protection. Stupid fucking tequila.

Thankfully I’ve been taking the pill religiously since I was seventeen years old so there’s no fear of any little babies running around. I can’t even blame him because I was just as reckless that night.

The whole next day I was fuming. I kept hoping he would remember at least a tiny snippet of sticking his penis in me. How could he forget a night like the one we shared? But as the hours dragged on I realized he wasn’t going to and I was left trying to not murder him.

He’s older, obviously more experienced when it comes to sex than me. He’s only the third guy I’ve ever been with. Would he have acted any differently towards me had he remembered or not? It was just sex and no big deal right? Only it was a big deal to me and I don’t know how to act around him. Do I confront him, or pretend it never happened? Should I have made a joke about him forgetting? I was working myself up in knots until I decided to put it down to an awful experience and let it go. It wasn’t likely to happen again.

It happened. It’s done. Move on.

I was surprised he sat and watched the movie with me our first night back. I thought he would keep his distance, using work as an excuse but he chose to spend time with me instead. It’s not the first time I’ve watched a movie with a guy however I was on that couch trying to act normal, pretending to watch the screen of a film I’ve watched ten times already when in fact I kept glancing at his hands every time he moved them, remembering the things they did to my body and the way they felt. Talk about a stressful experience. I have no recollection of falling asleep beside him, only waking up in my bed. He must have carried me upstairs. He could have left me on the couch but he didn’t. That little gesture shows he’s a good guy and I can’t stay mad at him for something he has no control over.

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